A word on why we eat

Ok. So the first obvious reason why we eat is ? Hunger. Of course.

Do you know there is more than one reason? Well, of course you do.

In centuries past, hunger was pretty much the only reason to eat. Simply because for most households there was not an abundance of left overs. Most struggled as it was to feed their families. Binge eating was unheard of among the general masses, and would have been frowned upon since it meant the binge eating of one, would cause the starvation of another in the family.

Of course, the wealthy were an exception to this rule. That was one reason curvaceous women were highly admired and sought after-it meant they had plenty to eat, which meant wealth!

Oh, if that were only the case today.

But it's not. So, what are some other reasons?

I will list some of my own personal reasons. And remember, you promised, no judgements.

1. Boredom-there's just something about those 5 minutes in between changing diapers and cleaning up spills that just bores me to tears. I must eat!

Ok, joking aside, boredom strikes us all, even the busiest among us. For me, boredom leads to eating. And not the "Hey, I'm so bored that I would really love to eat an apple" More of the "I'm so bored, what delectable treat is just waiting to be made so that I can eat it all before the kids come home?"

2. Sadness/depression-I find that eating to soothe my hurt feelings, depressive thoughts, what have you, actually works. At least for that moment, I feel better. Oh, it will sneak up on me later, but for now, I feel better.

3. Anxiety/nervousness/stress-If I am anxious, worried about something, or overwhelmed I can find myself turning to food. And it's different food then when I'm bored or sad. Bored food is cereal, toast, things of that nature. Sad food is sweets-cakes, cookies, that sort of thing.

But anxious food is repetitive food. Things like chips, crackers, popcorn, food that requires repeated trips to my mouth in order to satisfy or settle down my nervousness.

4. Anger-this is the rarer category for me. This occurs when something or someone has made me angry and I shove food in my mouth, not thinking about what it is, in order to stop thinking about whatever is making me angry. Kind of like a "Oh, yeah? I'll show them! Watch me eat this entire pie, that'll get 'em!" Oh yes, that will really hit them where it hurts. But luckily, I don't get angry very much. I'm too busy being trying to avoid being bored, sad or anxious.

Because have you noticed something about this list? Every single reason to eat when I'm not hungry is an effort to suppress an unpleasant feeling. Boredom? Cured. Depression? Mood lifted. Anxiety? Forgotten. Anger? What anger? I just ate my anger.

Get in a fight with your spouse? Had a rough day? Boss overlooked something that deserved mention? Did the kids make you crazy? Hate your clothes, your car, your house? No money? Is it raining outside when it was supposed to be sunny? Forget about it. Just eat a bowl of ice cream. Avoid what you're feeling and eat to your hearts content.

Yes? Well, yes. That is what I do. But I wish I didn't. I'm the classic avoider of my own emotions. Rather than deal with the negative feelings I am experiencing, I eat to stop myself from thinking about it. Right? Wrong. Cuz the problem is still there. The feelings are still there. I have just stomped them into the ground until they are so weak and feeble that they can't be heard. But they are still there. Waiting to get stronger so that they can come back and wreak havoc on a happily numb life.

What I'm saying is that eating to suppress doesn't work forever. So we have to keep eating to keep suppressing, and the vicious cycle continues. Now, I have overcome this to some degree in the past, because I have lost oodles of weight. But lately, I am finding that this is an issue taking over my life. Things have changed for me in the arena of stress and trials over the past 5 years.

And I am now in the process of learning how to overcome this.

So if you are a person who eats for reasons besides hunger, which I am, then I have an assignment for us.

I want you to think about, and if you feel comfortable, write down why you avoid your emotions.
Maybe this is the first step in not ignoring those emotions.

This may take some thought for some of us. My guess is that much can be found rooted in our childhood. Now this is not in an effort to place blame, but it is a necessary exercise to figure out why we do things so that we can then change.

So maybe there was a lot of yelling, maybe one or both parents were not demonstrative in their own feelings, maybe you were picked on. Maybe a traumatic event occurred that triggered something in you. It could be one of many things. And if eating to cover your emotions is not something you struggle with, then I am truly so happy for you, and could you please share with us what you do to deal with these emotions besides eat? I would love to hear it.

And obviously, this is just a suggestion. This blog is not to replace the advice of a licensed professional. I think there is a lot of commonality with the issues we all have, but those issues are there regardless of how we deal with it. So again, I just want this to be a safe place to discuss it.

So get a pen and paper, jot some feelings down, if you dare. And I would invite you to share. I am learning that I have some definite lurking emotions that I need to address and give validation to. I'm scared, but this is where I am starting the process. On this blog. Where I feel safe.

Watch out emotions, I'm going to let you out-try not to get too crazy on me, ok?