You know?
So.
I'm Karen.
Yep, there I am.
I am the wife of my very best friend, the man who was made especially for me.
Isn't he handsome?
I am the mother of four perfectly imperfect little angels, aged almost 10 to almost 2.
They are the best things ever.
And for a long time, I thought they were the reason I was fat.
Silly me.
Like so many of us, I gained and lost weight with each and every baby, and as I added children to our family, my ratios wavered a bit: gained more, lost less. After four kids in eight years, I found myself looking in the mirror and not knowing who I was or how I got to be that way. Actually, scratch that. I knew exactly how I got that way but it took me awhile to own it. I hated my body. I hated my clothes. I hated how self-absorbed and vain I was. I hating feeling like everyone thought of me as their fat friend. I hated it.
In June of 2008 when my last child was born, something clicked. Something in me changed and it was so significant and freeing that I knew I was finally going to say good-bye to my fat self and start living the life I was meant to live. My husband was supportive, my children were thriving and I finally gave myself permission to focus on myself and do what I had to do.
Since then, I have lost, as of this morning, 68 1/2 pounds. I did a lot of different things to shed the weight but the bottom line for me was that I simply moved more and ate less. Don't you hate it when people say that? I know I always did but for the first time in my life, I understood what that meant and put it to practice.
And that thing that clicked? That palpable change in me that made me understand what I had to do to be healthy and feel good? I have no idea what that was. If I did, I would bottle it up and put in on every shelf in America. I've thought about it endlessly in the last two years and what I've decided is that all it was was me giving myself permission to put my needs first and take care of business. I had a very clear vision of who I wanted to be and I knew I would never be her with all that weight on me. I didn't like who I was. I didn't like how I felt. So I decided to change.
Move more.
Eat less.
And here I am. Looking great but feeling a whole lot better.
And I'm excited to be on this journey, because my road if far from over. I still have to make choices every. single. day as to what I should eat and how much of it. I still have to decide to get out of bed every morning at 5:30 when the alarm goes off and exercise. I still have to live a life that is livable for me, which includes pasta and chocolate. And I have to love the body I've been given and celebrate all that it can do and not get bogged down in the numbers on the scale. It's a challenge, every single day. But it's a challenge I'm grateful for. I've learned so much and am excited to be inching closer to the woman I'm supposed to be. Because for the first time in ten years, I love her.
I love this. It stinks that the answer is eat less, move more, but there you go. It is what it is and there is no way around it. I am amazed at how much weight you have lost. You realize that's an 8 year old? It's very empowering to realize we can do more than we thought we could. Thank you so much Karen!
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