Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Day 12

I have been eating mainly vegan for 12 days now. I did have a brownie with some frosting, NOT vegan, but it is a work in progress, and it has been the only thing in 12 days.

Because I can't go shopping until tomorrow, I am short on options for food. But smoothies I have had in abundance, and veggie "chicken" patties have been a life saver.

I did finally weigh myself, more out of curiosity than anything, and I've lost 4 pounds. That's a nice bonus, but again, not the reason for any of this.

My biggest challenge is figuring out my part of Christmas dinners. Christmas eve is chinese, I can easily do tofu and rice, Christmas day my little family wants ham, I can just not eat the ham I guess, and then day after Christmas, I don't know what the menu is, but I will just naturally prepare something that I can eat.

I am starting to miss meat a little. Not red meat or pork. The thought of either of those makes me a little nauseous. But some chicken would be nice. I need to try tempeh, I've heard it can be a nice substitute. This is just a whole new world to me. I will get it eventually. It's just a work in progress.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Remember when Scott said "You're a Vegan? Is that like a Pegan?" at Kate's blessing?

How long has this thing been around, anyway? My first post? Maybe. I'm not sure.

But I'm Teresa, Amy. And I mainly eat vegetarian.

When we came back to Saudi this year, Peter has just read the Born to Run book, and wanted to eat more like that. Beans, beans, and beans. So I was willing to give it my best. It has now been three months and I bought chicken to cook for my family for the first time since then - yesterday.

Being a vegetarian is very tricky living in the middle east. The produce is about as scary as eating meat; I have no idea what pesticides are used. There aren't regulations. But I do my best.

When I say we eat mainly vegetarian, it means that twice a month or so we eat meat at home. I'm not strict with the kids, and when we travel we eat what we can get. But it's been weird to see how I really don't like the taste of meat anymore. Really. In France I bought a LOT of pork products, because we can't get them here and my family loves them. I ate hardly any. I'll cook it, but a bite or two and I'm out. Even bacon, which I dream of, just doesn't taste like it used to to me.

I bought chicken because my family's favorite meal is a chinese chicken meal, PonPon chicken. I figured they've been SO good about going along with this that they deserve a break. I actually made mine with tofu, which I use quite often. (when I can find it! I bought all they had last time it was in.)

We eat a lot of lentils, beans, veggies, etc. I found a great (vegan actually) replacement product for ground pork. It's all they had here. (and it's gone now - and I used my last box, sad) But I put that in lasagne sometimes. Or I make stuffed shells with a really chunky veggie sauce of zuchinni, cauliflower, onions, carrots tomatoes. The kids haven't hardly said a word. At first they did though. But we explained more about our feelings of the word of wisom, and then the effects of huge animal farms on the environment, etc. They understood, and we move on.

Now I'll be honest. I have NO IDEA how you do vegan though. Cheese and dairy are my go to. A big reason for this is due to nut allergies, we can't get protien from there because of Simon. I guess I could try it, but I don't think I could feed my family that way yet.

Anyway. Good for you. I understand not telling anyone. I haven't told anyone. No one. It's a personal choice. And when we're with others, or there is nothing else to eat, we eat as little meat as we can. I don't want this to be a burden on others, because of a choice we made. One time we had the missionaries to dinner is Orem, ONCE, because you just can't get them there. I tell my kids you have to try everything, because you have to eat what you're served on your mission. Well, this one missionary sits down to a giant pan of lasagne. Homemade, like 20 pounds. Beef, pork and cheese. He looks at me and says, "I don't eat red meat." I could have strangled him. Really. First of all, you should have told us in advance. Put it on the calendar they pass around or something. Second, when someone offers something - you eat it. Third, nice way to be a crappy example to my kids! He asked if I had any chicken or anything. Allergies are one thing. Outright preference is another.

So we are flexible vegetarians. There, that's a good way to sum up how we live. We had turkey on Thanksgiving, the only meat since France. Who knows which way we will go from here. It's hard to eat healthy with such few options here. The only whole wheat pasta I can get is rigatoni. So for lasagne I make a layered bake. I make indian dahl with brown rice, and we all love it. Canned beans are our friends - I need to learn how to cook more with beans.

Anyway. Best of luck to you. Peter has lost nearly 20 pounds since this adventure, and I've lost 14. Not just eating this way, but making an effort to make better choices and live a healthier life all the way around. Good luck!

Friday, December 9, 2011

Have you hugged your vegan today?

So, I've had some personal revelation concerning my diet. It has come about, not because of a desire to lose weight, but because of a desire to be healthy and well and to not hurt anymore. I want to ween myself off of the medication I'm on, and to feel whole.

With a lot of prayer, I came to the distinct feeling that I should eat a vegan diet. I know, right?!!! I initially was extremely nervous about such a thing, as I have been a dairy/meat eater my whole life. But after a priesthood blessing from Jeff, I felt strengthened and filled with the knowledge that this was the right direction for me, and that I would be successful and find relief from my pain. My desire to keep this private has kept me from telling anyone but Maile. But I felt safe here since only about 4 people read this, and I trust all of you.

Why would I keep this private? Oh, because of the many ideas people have about vegan stuff. It is tainted with ideas of hippies, animal rights activists, and such. I have no problem with animals being used as food. Or of the wearing of leather shoes. None of my decision to do this had to do with any of that. It is purely for health. So how has it been so far? Well, I am on day 7. And the first thing I noticed was that I can breathe through both of my nostrils freely. My left side has been slightly stuffy for years now. But around day 3 I noticed I could breathe through it even with the right side plugged. I used to joke to myself that I would suffocated if anyone clamped the right side of my nose shut. But no more!

As far as pain, it is too soon to tell. Plus I am still taking Cymbalta. But I feel that in a month I will have a better indication of what the outcome will be. It is important to say that I am also not eating processed sugar or grains either. It seems silly to omit animal products and to eat so many fruits and vegetables and legumes, only to put sugar on my cereal or have white bread for lunch.

And weight loss? I have no idea. I am not weighing myself yet. I am giving my body time to adjust to the changes. I can say that my clothes feel looser, but that may just be because of water at this point.

I feel sharper mentally, and I am not as tired. Those are some immediate benefits. Now I am not saying everyone should do this. I am only telling what I'm doing, and how it's making me feel. I do feel that it falls more in line with the Word of Wisdom, but that is my own feelings on it. Jeff doesn't necessarily agree with me on that point. And that is ok.

I am trying to get used to thinking of myself as a vegan. It is a weird thing, and I shy away from it still. But then I go back to the confirmation I had that this will be good for my body, and I again try and say, "I'm a vegan."

I don't want to say it's only been a week, things could change. I don't want it to change. Maybe I will say instead, that I try and stick mainly to a vegan diet. That feels better. Because I'm not vegan because of a moral viewpoint, so strictness is not really the goal. It's a general attitude towards healing my body and feeling better.

Ok, so what have I been eating? That's what Jeff wanted to know. Is it all salads? No way man.

For breakfast today I had a smoothie that had cherries, strawberries, bananas, celery, spinach and carrots. Henry, Nora and Anne Marie had it too and loved it. I have some sprouted grain toast with smart balance and raw honey on it. Super good!

For lunch yesterday I had a veggie pizza, minus cheese. Super yummy as well. It had sweet garlic and artichoke on it.

For dinner the night before I had  thai peanut tofu, and coconut jasmine rice. I made it at home. Yummy!

I've also made eggplant parmesan, minus the parmesan. That was not a hit with the family. I still am learning, so my eggplant was underdone. But it will get better.

People wonder about protein. Well, beans and tofu have protein, but so do fruits and vegetables. If you eat enough of them you don't need a lot of extra protein. If all I ate was bread and cereal every day, then yes I might be missing some protein. But I have whole grain wraps with wild rice and beans and lots of veggies on them. And they're good!

I actually haven't had one salad by itself for a meal yet. I've had it as a side. But I really don't feel that I'm missing out on anything. I even made cookies. Some of my kids liked them, and some prefer not to have pureed beans in place of their butter. But that's ok. I will still make them regular cookies and dinners. I'm not forcing this on my family either. If they want what I'm eating, then I will happily share.

Anyway, that is it. I have had quite a journey in my adulthood at finding a balance with food in my life. This feels the closest to ideal for me of anything I've tried. I've never loved meat. I've eaten it, but in the past 10 years, mostly out of guilt because I was told I should have certain amounts of protein. I like chicken or hamburger occasionally, but I didn't start to eat meat on even a weekly basis until I married Jeff. Growing up we had meat with every meal, but once I started cooking for myself, I ate primarily baked potatoes and salads for dinner. So this feels like me. Even Tosca Reno's eat clean diet has a vegan section. So woohoo! Cuz I do love that gal!

I even hesitate to push publish on this one because I know how I am occasionally viewed. I view myself like that as well. And what is that? Oh, changes her mind, always trying something else, likes new fads, jumps on any ol' bandwagon, always looking for the next thing with food. And that has been true, when it was all about losing weight. But that is not the case currently. Yes, losing weight will be a nice bonus, but I really want freedom from painful elbows, a stiff neck, sore lower back, CONSTANTLY sore/hurting shoulder, achy quads, and knee pain. I have arthritis. I don't know what kind, but I know that it has progressively been getting worse, and unless I want to not be able to walk in 20 years, or to be on a daily regimine of prescription pills, then I have to change what I'm eating.

So there you go. I am Amy, and I try to stick to a mainly vegan diet. The end.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Yesterday was a train wreck of ginormous proportions.

After accidentally (of course) ramming some guys Cadillac Escalade, I went home in hysterics, instead of working out.

Then, I fed my sorrow, literally, for the rest of the day.

Not until the owner of the cadillac called me and said to not worry about the damage, did I settle back into a more happy place where food was not needed to fill me up any longer.

It was a very emotional day. As I stood in the parking lot, crying as I wrote my info down, all I could think were awful insults to myself. Stupid, unattractive, fat, dumb, stupid, stupid, stupid.

I was much harder on myself than the kind gentlemen was. Sometimes this ugly perfectionist side of me pops out. I don't aim it at other people, only myself. I should have been perfect and not made the mistake of hitting his car. I should have been skinnier so that when I talked to him I didn't have the added feeling of self conscious-ness. I should have been better with money for the previous 15 years so that I wouldn't be standing there with my crappy van and feeling so poor.

But I am over that today.

I am still embarassed, because that is normal. But I am not beating myself up.

And today, I don't feel the need to feed myself as a form of comfort. Today, food is just food. A source of energy. Nothing more.

Breakfast-rice chex with milk-250

lunch-chicken salad-300

snack-peanut butter toast-250

dinner-chicken and brussel sprouts-300

snack-I don't know yet. Something in the 300 calorie range.

And I'm going on a walk with Henry and Nora because Nora is sick today and I can't take her to the gym babysitting drop off place.

But I'm back tomorrow!

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

I'm off to the gym again. I'm going to do weight training today. I'm super nervous because last time I belonged to a gym, I was in waaaay better shape and I actually knew what I was doing. I'm not even sure where to start today, and I hate the thought of wandering around with that lost look on my face. I like to pretend I know what I'm doing, NOT stick out like a sore thumb. But I have to start somewhere right?

So today I'm off to a good start with food, hah!!

I had a peanut butter sandwich, on whole wheat bread, and a cookie for breakfast. Can you say what?!

I guess I'm eating egg whites and oatmeal for lunch to balance it out. I don't know why, that sandwich just looked so dang good. And the cookie? I'm still working on moderation. If I tell myself no for anything fun, I will freak out and eat a whole plate of cookies! So one isn't bad.

Dinner tonight will be grilled chicken and brussel sprouts for me, cuz I love them, yes I do and mashed potatoes for the kids. I think I will have a baked potato with spray butter and seasoning. And some sort of red meat for Jeff. Simple, but low in calories while high in protein and fiber.

Snack will be a smoothie I think, that sounds good. I've been staying in my 1600 calorie range and it feels good.I'm not weighing myself though. I'm just going off how my clothes fit. I have less anxiety this way, and I don't let the weight of the day affect my mood or how I'm eating. It just feels healthier emotionally for me. I may weigh myself once a month, and usually I end up losing more weight that way. You know, keeping that monster at bay requires something different than what normal weight loss experts would tell you. I no longer have an eating disorder for a reason, some of that being I started doing things my way instead of what everything on the internet told me!

Thoughts? Do you weigh yourself? Or not?

Saturday, November 5, 2011

So the weekend with the young men and young women, planning activities for the coming year, turned out well. Both as far as what we got done, and as far as what I ate. I felt very in control, and though I allowed myself a little treat in the form of one treat size Almond Joy, I kept within my range and felt great.

Also, I joined a gym! WOO HOO! I have belonged to a gym in the past, but mostly I have lost weight and got in shape by working out at home, and by pushing kids in the double jogger. But lately, it has become harder for me to exercise with them, than with any of the previous 4. Henry hates the stroller, and asks when we're going home the whole time. Nora is fine, but with Henry not in Kindergarten yet, it's always the two of them. If I try to work out on the treadmill in the garage, the kids come out the whole time and mess with stuff, or they go inside and I worry about them the whole time.

And honestly, I am not getting up at 5 just to exercise in my cold garage. So instead of making excuses, I joined a gym with unlimited babysitting. They only charge 15 dollars for 2 kids unlimited! Pretty awesome.

I just really want to put some focus on this, and the hour by myself will be really nice as well. Plus, Henry and Nora love to play with other kids and other people's toys, so hopefully they will enjoy it as well.

So, today's menu-

1 pancake, 1 piece of bacon, bit of eggs and syrup-350
lunch-pb &j on whole wheat, pretzels, apple-450
snack-cereal-250
dinner-one slice of cheese pizza, garden salad with ranch.-400
snack-green bean fries with ketchup-120

days total-1670

Nutritionally, it was a so so day, but I stayed within my calories, so I feel pretty good about it.

Friday, November 4, 2011

So the girls and I are headed to Cle Elum for a YM/YW planning retreat. It should be fun. But as always in such situations, what is being served is out of my control. So I try and adjust or I bring my own food. I think I will do a little bit of both this time. But for today, I can keep a good thing going and stay within my calorie range, and then prepare for tomorrow what with pancakes and syrup being on the menu. I can hardboil some eggs and bring an apple to go with that. Lunch is sandwiches. Same thing, I will bring my own. Although a peanut butter and jam sandwich on white bread sounds good, it will still be 500 calories but I won't feel filled up by just that. So I'm better off bringing something that has less calories but that is much more filling, like the chicken salad that is so easy to make up. Anyhoo.

Today's Menu

Breakfast-oatmeal and a handful of cereal-400
Lunch-chicken salad with grapes and almonds-350
Snack-apple and peanut butter-250
dinner-chicken sandwich-400
snack-apple-40

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Day two of?

I don't know what to call this. This effort I'm making. I am excited though. I've been having quite a bit of annoying pain that has kept me from exercising. I stopped running thinking things would feel better. But they didn't. And now, without really realizing it, I've slowly stopped going walking on a regular basis as well. And I was so tired every day from not sleeping well. Not sleeping well because I would wake up 4-5 times a night in pain and have to roll over to try and be more comfortable.

But I'm excited because my doc put me on a new medication that has me feeling like a million bucks. It's only been 3 days, but I was able to wake up this morning with my kids, and I stayed up until 10 last night cleaning. I haven't done that in over a year! After the kids got on the bus this morning, I did the dishes and cleaned up and I'm contemplating throwing the kids in the stroller and going on a walk.

This sounds so funny to me, cuz being able to do all those things has always been easy for me. I've always stayed on top of things. And even if it wasn't perfect, it was manageable. The medication I'm on is a anti-depressant that is also used to relieve pain. My doc and I couldn't decide if I was depressed because I was in pain, or if the pain was part of the depression. Some of it isn't. Like my back, which has bothered me for years. And then there is my knees. They would probably feel better if I lost weight. But my muscle aches and shoulder pain seem in a league all their own. So who knows. I just know that the medicine is helping and I feel so happy about it!

So here is my plan for today. I'm trying to give myself breakfast as the meal where I have less than stellar carbs. I figure it will be worked off by the end of the day. But I'm not freaking out either. Maile's doctor told her to just go on a regular diet. No crazy stuff, no low carb, just a regular diet where you watch what you eat and stay within a calorie range. Genius! ha ha So I'm doing that as well. I'm staying within 1600 calories and adding exercise, but not going crazy.

So here is today's menu:

Breakfast:-Rice crispies with banana and almond milk-250
Lunch-Chicken salad with grapes and celery.-350
Snack-hard boiled egg and yogurt-200
Dinner-Burritos, with ground beef, avocado, gluten free wrap, salsa.-500
Snack-apple with peanut butter-250

Oh it feels good to have a plan. And yes Karen-you should post what you're eating here as well. I would love to see what other people dream up for lunch and dinner while staying within their calories/points/whatever.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

I'm only on here because I need somewhere to log things I eat.

I went to the doctor yesterday and she implied, quite nicely actually, that losing the extra 40 pounds I have would help a bit with back and knee pain.

Ya think?

I mean, I already knew that. But I've been kidding myself into thinking it's not related. And that I look "good enough."

I've done well. I've lost 30 pounds. And then I lost my motivation, somewhere. But having someone else tell me outright that I was overweight, was pretty motivating.

So, for today, I ate or will be eating:

Breakfast:1 cup rice chex with almond milk and a cut up banana.-220
Lunch: grilled chicken sandwich and diet coke-350
Snack-apple slices with almond butter-200
Dinner-homemade fettucine alfredo-600
Snack-green bean fries with ketchup-120

I am doing this. I am. I feel, different today. More motivated. Less sad. It's all good.

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