Finding answers

I sat pondering today, the way we as women feel about our bodies. About all that we put ourselves through to look good. Numerous weight loss efforts, surgeries, hair dying, manicures, pedicures, tanning, product after product and of course, clothes.


I've heard different people describe it different ways, the reasons we go through all of this that is.


I've heard it's really for other woman, that we want to look good for eachother. And I think that's true.


Others do it to look good for men, to feel wanted by them, to gain their sense of worth from them.


And of course we all do it for ourselves as well. So that when we look in the mirror, or run up the stairs, we can feel good about ourselves.


These all make sense to me in differing degrees. But one of these reasons makes me sad.


Looking good for men is not a bad thing, it's normal to preen and make efforts to look good for the opposite sex, to attract eachother in the hopes of finding a suitable mate. (I think I have seen too many nature shows).


But the sadness comes from the knowledge that there are women whose seem to live and breathe for this attention. They could be married or single, it doesn't matter. The need for admiration is so strong, that perhaps a sense of who they would be without it, gets lost.

I know that I have fallen into this trap. The desire (it has rarely been fulfilled) to feel admired. But without that admiration, am I any less, is my worth entirely dependant on it? No.

And as I watch styles become more and more tight and exposing, where less and less is left to the imagination, I can't help but think of a line in a song, by my favorite band of all time. Toad the Wet Sprocket, or just Toad if you are a true fan. The line goes "and the more skin, she shared, the more that the air in her throat would linger when she called him her friend".

I hope that line is pretty self explanatory.

This is mostly a lead in for a post that Karen is working on. But I just wanted to encourage an evaluation of why you want to make changes. Who is it for? Will you feel your worth rise exponentially as you weight goes down? Or will it be so that you can walk up those stairs without being winded, or be able to wear pants without an elastic waistband, or feel more comfortable going to the pool with the kids?

And I promise, I am not attacking looking good. I just want to bring in some discussion on why we do it. What makes it worth it, what the long term goal is. Ponder it, be honest with yourselves. That honesty doesn't mean you will be upset by the answer, it just means you know who you are, and are aware of why you are making these changes.

Personally, I'm a little nervous. I try to do a fair amount of introspection, but some things I gloss right over cuz I don't even want to admit the truth to myself. But I will share the truth with you on Monday, after I figure out what that truth is. Good luck to all of you. And remember, there are no wrong answers.

And be looking for Karen's post next week. I'm sure it will be worth the wait. (no pressure Karen:)