Yesterday was a train wreck of ginormous proportions.

After accidentally (of course) ramming some guys Cadillac Escalade, I went home in hysterics, instead of working out.

Then, I fed my sorrow, literally, for the rest of the day.

Not until the owner of the cadillac called me and said to not worry about the damage, did I settle back into a more happy place where food was not needed to fill me up any longer.

It was a very emotional day. As I stood in the parking lot, crying as I wrote my info down, all I could think were awful insults to myself. Stupid, unattractive, fat, dumb, stupid, stupid, stupid.

I was much harder on myself than the kind gentlemen was. Sometimes this ugly perfectionist side of me pops out. I don't aim it at other people, only myself. I should have been perfect and not made the mistake of hitting his car. I should have been skinnier so that when I talked to him I didn't have the added feeling of self conscious-ness. I should have been better with money for the previous 15 years so that I wouldn't be standing there with my crappy van and feeling so poor.

But I am over that today.

I am still embarassed, because that is normal. But I am not beating myself up.

And today, I don't feel the need to feed myself as a form of comfort. Today, food is just food. A source of energy. Nothing more.

Breakfast-rice chex with milk-250

lunch-chicken salad-300

snack-peanut butter toast-250

dinner-chicken and brussel sprouts-300

snack-I don't know yet. Something in the 300 calorie range.

And I'm going on a walk with Henry and Nora because Nora is sick today and I can't take her to the gym babysitting drop off place.

But I'm back tomorrow!