A new direction

I watched a video this morning by Stephanie Nielson of the NieNie dialogues. Over at Dear Cjane.

Stephanie touches briefly on their crash, on the burns covering 80 percent of her body. And then she says"I am Stephanie Nielson, and I am not my body."

At this point, I start to bawl. To sob uncontrollably at these words. To feel the truthfulness of them.

I lay my head down on my arms, resting on a chair, and give in to the grief that threatens to overwhelm me.

Because I am not my body either. But I have been trying to make it so. I have been attempting, for years and years, to bring my value as a person, as a daughter of Heavenly Father into line with the way I look on the outside.

And that is completely and totally wrong.

So I cried. I cried for the years I spent abusing my body with an eating disorder. I cried for all the time I spend worrying about things that won't matter in eternity.

And then I sat up and wiped my tears. It's time for a new direction.