From The Inside Out

One of my sweet friends, who is so much smarter than me, has a personal motto that she shared with me years ago.

"You have to give up something good to get something better."

We were huddled up in a freezing cabin while the rest of our Young Women slept down below and we had one of the best conversations of my life, to date. And that's saying something.

I was venting my frustrations with my weight, with my time constraints, with what I was capable of and she calmly took it all in and then offered that little piece of dynamite which literally shook me to the core. As a beautifully thin woman who works incredibly hard for her shape, she let me in on her little secret.

"You have to give up something good to get something better."

She explained to me that when we are faced with two choices, we often see one as good and the other bad, but that's not necessarily the case. For example, sleeping in is good. But setting the alarm for a bit earlier and getting in a good workout, is better. Eating a piece of cake at a birthday party is good. But taking pride in your body and not eating two pieces of cake is better. Laying on the couch to watch a movie with your kids is good. Going for a bike ride is better. Devoting your time and energies to your family is good. Showing them that you value yourself and take time for your own needs is better.

I could go on and on but I think you get the idea. We all have choices to make, struggles to meet head on and reasons why we "can't" do something. I spent almost a decade trying to convince myself of why I couldn't eat right. Exercise more. Make better choices. I told myself that I was focused on being the best mom I could.

It took work, real effort, to switch my mindset from being negative to finding the positives. I used to get so frustrated when I'd go out to dinner with my husband or girlfriends. I would wine and complain because what I wanted to eat wasn't the same as what I should eat and I would focus all my energy into why life wasn't fair and how I just wanted to be thin. And I forgot to celebrate that going out was the treat, not the food. Being with my husband is what made the night special, not the menu. Chatting the night away with girlfriends is what I was really craving and not the calorie-laden foods.

And after awhile, I got it. And I started to lose weight.

This isn't to say that on some Friday nights you can't find me at Red Robin munching away on a Whiskey River BBQ Chicken Wrap and fries. Or that if I'm at the movies, I don't have a a pack of Reese's Pieces to munch on. I still eat the foods I've always eaten. In moderation. And because I occasionally snack on the things I love, those foods no longer have power over me.

I still have to make choices every. single. day. I still want chocolate after every meal. I still wish that cheesecake were good for you. But this? The pride I feel in my body? The sound of the alarm at 5:20 every morning? The results I've seen since I started making the effort? Knowing that I'm taking care of myself so that I really can be the best for my family?

Is better.